So I’m going to talk about famous people for a bit. Just bear with me.
As I was watching the news on Tuesday morning, a story about the rivalry between Kanye West and Taylor Swift (both current pop/R&B icons) was brought to my attention. The segment focused on a speech given at the Grammy Award Ceremony by T. Swift. A portion of the speech is below.
“There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success, or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame, but if you just focus on the work and you don’t let those people sidetrack you…”
Evidently, Swift was responding to a lyric in one of West’s new songs where he supposedly tried to take credit for her success. I understand that she is standing up for herself, and encouraging young women to persevere. However, both of these celebrities continue to hold power over one another by constantly talking about each other publicly. The news anchors reminded me that this all started back in 2009! That’s 7 years ago people!
SERIOUSLY!? How often do we waist emotional energy focusing on grudges or past hurts? Holding grudges will steel your joy and, frankly, it’s a terrible waste of emotional energy– energy that we could be using to grow, discover, process, relate, connect, and practice vulnerability. Yes, working through horrendous hurts and pain takes time and work. Some of my clients have experienced things that make me weep if I dwell on them and these experiences will never disappear. Experiences change people. But, if we are able to spend the time and do the work (hard work) of confronting our pasts honestly, then we are able to experience a new sense of freedom and peace that is life-giving. We are able to focus on what we desire to focus on- healthy relationships; and stop focusing, all the time, on those who have injured us.
If you are allowing a past experience to rule your mind and heart, reach out and seek help. This takes an extreme amount of courage, but sometimes (a lot of times) we need a professional to walk alongside us and teach us how to move forward in a healthy way. Whether it’s sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional abuse, trauma, or relationship issues, something that happened as a child, or 3 years ago, don’t waste any more precious time. Make an appointment with a counselor today.