Life Lessons from my Lab (George) #5: Healing

George 5

“George stop it! No! No George!” I yelled across the room at my dog.

George lifted his head and then cocked it to one side as if to say, “Who me?”

“Yes you!” I exclaimed as I walked over and crouched down beside him.   I talk to my yellow lab frequently as if he understands me. Don’t’ worry about it… I’m aware it’s weird. I examined the lower area of his leg to find that his wound had not healed. In fact it looked worse.

“Why will he not leave his leg alone?” my husband wondered in a frustrated tone. “If he would stop licking it, it would heal!”

“I don’t know, but are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yep.” He chuckled and turned to look at our dog. “Sorry buddy. It’s time for the cone of shame.”

Now the “cone of shame,” is really just an e-collar, and e-collars prevent animals from pulling off bandages etc. after a procedure has been done. At our house we lovingly call it the cone of shame because of the look George gives us when he has to wear one. I have to say, it’s pretty pathetic and equally hilarious to watch our hundred pound lab walk around wearing a huge Elizabethan style collar. He runs into EVERYTHING and cannot walk through a door without getting one of the sides of the collar stuck on the wall. He constantly knocks over furniture and in the midst of the chaos, my husband and I cannot help but laugh.

George hates the cone, but the cone is necessary. The cone keeps George from aggravating his wound. Though annoying and burdensome, without it, George’s wound would never heal. He would just keep licking his leg, without even realizing that he was making it worse!

I started thinking about the different ways that we aggravate our own wounds; the ways we prevent past hurts from healing. We try to make it better. We try to make the pain go away. But no matter what we do, we can’t figure out how to make it heal. We focus so much on the pain that we become hyper-focused and stuck in a pattern or cycle that only makes the wound more raw and exposed. We are unable to see any other way to heal. If only someone else would step in to show us a different way. If only we could see the bigger picture. If only someone would help guide us in another direction, any other direction that might actually assist in the healing process. This is where I come in.

As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I am trained to walk with people through their pain, and begin the process of restoration. If you feel stuck, as if there is no end to your suffering, there is hope! Give us a call here at Heritage and let’s start the process of your restoration.

Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce

Divorce is difficult  – for the couple, for their friends and family, for the children, for everyone involved.  The effects of a divorce have a significant impact on you and those around you.   No one can really understand how difficult it is until they experience it personally.

There are many ways to grieve and many ways to heal.  Following this outline and learning the tools to walk through each step of the emotional rebuilding process will help you through those difficult stages by offering genuine hope, assurance of forgiveness, and restoration of your sense of self.

Look at it as an insurance policy that you can choose to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again!

WHERE DO I BEGIN?

An architect’s blueprints represent the project goals. The builder’s plans are the sequential steps necessary to complete the project. To begin our personal remodeling, we first need to develop a blueprint (what we want to accomplish) and a plan (how we will achieve those goals) to get us from where we are now in our grief to where we want to be in the future.

WHAT NEXT?

Realize that “Remodeling”:

  •      Has a cost – time/energy/money
  •      Causes discomfort/there is a labor involved
  •      Is inconvenient
  •      Requires tearing down the old structure
  •      Is a process that does not happen overnight
  •      Requires a personal investment – How much will you invest?

Get a Vision:  Map out a plan and prepare for inconveniences to the best of your ability.

Get the Materials Together:

  •      What resources will you need?
  •      Consider people, tools, books, manuals, and/or videos
  •      Where will you get help or will you try to work alone?

Divorce, like other loss, brings with it significant life changes, and Divorce Recovery can be a daunting task. But, with good planning, the right tools and professional guidance, you can successfully complete your personal “remodeling.”

If you would like more information on Julie’s Divorce Recovery Program, please click here.