We have all been there – it has been THE longest day at work and you came home to cook dinner, give baths, do homework with the kids, and clean up. You are utterly exhausted and you finally get your head on the pillow fully expecting to go into a sleep coma for the next 8 hours when you feel your husband curl up next to you with his signature “let’s get it on” move. You respond in the same way your husband has heard so many times before, “Honey, I’m so tired, later, I promise.” Your husband rolls over, disappointed.
This scenario is so common place in many marriages and relationships. I hear this story in my office with struggling couples all of the time. Despite the overwhelming research about the benefits of sex in a marriage and how healthy marriages require intimacy, over and over again we choose to forego sex because we are tired. The truth is-we ARE tired. More and more we add to our plates in order to keep up with the pace of today’s society. We prioritize the children and work and church and friends and family but don’t prioritize our sexual relationships with our spouses. Genetically our husbands are more likely to be ready to “go” despite how overworked they may have been that day. So what is the difference? Why is it so much easier for us, as women, to put it off? Well, we are built differently than men are. For many of us it takes much more intentionality than it does for our husbands.
So, why? You’re clearly worn out, burned out, and have another full day of the same tomorrow! Why choose sex over sleep tonight? Here are some good reasons to give in and enjoy rather than call it a night, even for the busiest of us.
- Ladies, when your husband is getting sex on a regular basis he is like a well-oiled machine. He can literally see the world more clearly. He will be more willing to help out and he will take on the world with a new attitude. Men feel like they can take on any obstacle when they know that their wife finds them sexually attractive and “wants” them. A positive outlook on life can be life changing for the both of you.
- Sex improves your libido. When you have sex with your husband you will eventually begin to desire sex more often. Remind yourself how good it feels to make love to your husband regularly by starting somewhere, tonight.
- If you are tired, having sex will assist in getting you a better night’s sleep. It is easy to lay in bed and start thinking about the day you had and all of the things that you have to do the next day, these anxious thoughts are very likely to keep you up at night and disturb your sleep. Sex has the opposite effect on you – it relaxes your body and therefore allows for better sleep.
- It reduces your stress level. Studies show that having sex lowers stress related blood pressure. So a bit of fun under the sheets may actually help you deal with that busy next day better than if you skipped it.
- Sex makes you feel better about yourself. Some psychologists say that regular sex even improves your self-esteem. Naturally, feeling wanted and desired by somebody you love and care for improves positive feelings about yourself.
So go ahead, give it a roll in the sheets tonight and take a look at the benefits it will have on you and your marriage.